The name of the restaurant is "Le Chateaubriand", French for "yes we're better than you and yes we are fully aware of that fact".
Word to the wise-- make a reservation, it will save the inevitable 2 hr wait outside. However if you do decide to chance it, here's a pro-tip: jump the line and go straight to the bar and get yourself something to drink while in line. And hopefully there's a half-drunk Frenchman who takes pity on you and gets the attention of the bartender. And at the end of your meal inquires as to how you enjoyed your meal. Very charming.
If you have decided to live on the wild side and line up for the 9:40 second seating, make sure you are at least 2, or preferably 4, not just a loser all alone like me. Not only does that scream "SOCIALLY INEPT AND UNABLE TO FORM MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIPS ON EVEN THE MOST BASIC LEVEL", it also makes it harder to get a seat. I seriously considered soliciting a random passerby to join me just to get seated quicker. Also most female random passerby were inordinately attractive by North American standards.
So, main takeaway point- come in a group.
The menu changes every night according to the chef's whim and depending on what is fresh. This is cool, since the menu does not dictate what they buy, but rather what they can buy fresh dictates the menu.
The beginning is a series of "amuse bouches".
The first two are paired with an apple wine (Par Nature (vin de pomme) Normandie, Julien Fremont). Very light, not very apple-y, strong cider nose, apple rot.
First amuse bouche is some kind of cheese puff.
The first of the two waiters is not particularly interested me understanding what he says, apparently he is programmed to simply utter certain phrases upon successful delivery of each course. The puff is nothing special, not a great pair with the apple wine.
Second is the ceviche (looks like tuna) - still paired with apple wine.
Perfect texture, floral, soup is not too citrusy, very light fish taste. It opened up the apple wine quite a bit, more tart now, sour, less rotty and more baked apple
Next wine - Fleurie 2008 J Foillard.
Needed a cleanser - apple wine still quite powerful and lingering
Very flat, nothing particularly outstanding, colour is quite pale, raspberry colour, nose is almost grassy, maybe lemongrass, but quite subdued
Paired with an anchovy with olive pâté and dusted with dried crushed raspberries
Bitter at first, no special pairing with Beaujolais, not salty enough for an anchovy, even with the olive paste
I unwisely inquired of the waiter what this next dish was, after it had arrived... all he managed to verbalize in between snarls was "c'est un oeuf". I then recalled the introductory explanation: Egg parfait in spinach soup.
Tons of garlic-- awesome!! Egg probably needed another 3 or 4 seconds of cooking-- whites were still raw.
Overpowers the wine, again a seemingly failed pairing. Maybe I'm just not getting it? Egg yolk tames the spiciness of the garlic just enough. A perfect dish!
Next up is the first course (i think), described by the waiter as 'duck juice and carrot'. Also has sesame and other various seeds in it (one was anise).
Very rich, the seeds offset the richness quite nicely though. No wine pairing? Or maybe I drank the Fleurie too fast... Oops.
Nope that was apparently the last of the amuse bouches. Now it's a Greek white wine, which is stored in clay pots and the sealed with "retsina". Dunno what that is. (Les Larmes du Pin 2009 Domaine Kachris). Clean, not dry or sweet. Can smell the clay. Swished in mouth and now there's a huge alcoholness... Still neither sweet nor dry, if anything sour.
The dishes are coming fast and furious... The one waiter who seems to be a bit of a snob (even by French standards) just rushed me through the description. Good thing I have a menu. I see radishes, seaweed, little grapefruits? In some sort of gelatin.
Ok and at the bottom is fish, not sure what kind, raw, or maybe smoked. Great spiciness from the radishes. Now the wine is pulling some great dryness, maybe even grassiness. Some lemony hints? The fish texture is a bust. Falling apart. Also the gelatin-- not sure what the point of that was. Some nice hits of salt, wish there had been more.
Next wine is a 2008 Chardonnay (Abbaye de Morgeot Chassagne-Montrachet 1st cru Fred Cossard). Citrus nose, grassy. Maybe even stony. Taste is sour, clean.
The second course is brill (barbue sauvage) with white asparagus, topped with pine needles (!).
White asparagus is like normal asparagus except 1,000,000 times better. Pine needles are an awesome topping, nice fresh minty/lemon taste to offset the brill. Brill is cooked perfectly, crispy skin, tender flesh. Fish is almost nutty, but very delicate taste. The wine is now quite sharp and stoniness is more present. However the wine is so clean, even swishing it does not bring out much alcohol, tastes almost like water from a stream. Wine now has almost buttery nose.
A pause in the service, dishes are now no longer being shoved on to my table. A welcome respite. Some time to contemplate what has just come to pass? Instead I eat some more bread and plan my trip to L'Atelier Joel Robuchon (No 14).
The waiter changes my cutlery, I get a fresh fork and a steak knife. Good thing it's the last course, I'm turning out to be quite a lightweight! My wine tolerance
Someone just let out a war cry, must be another French custom I'm not aware of. Or perhaps they finally got seated after the 3 hour wait.
The next wine is a CDP (Pignan 2006 Chateau Rayas). Wish I knew my Rhones better, I don't really know what to be smelling for. Nose: Red pepper, anise/licorice, mint. Oops forgot to drink before I tried the food!
Another war cry.
Next up is the beef with "burned eggplant" (i think he meant grilled) and spinach.
No, he meant burned. Something spicy and tomatoey, almost like a BBQ sauce. Probably an onion. Spinach leaves are amazing.
Wine nose is much more red pepper now. Not much silkiness. Red fruits.
Meat is cooked perfectly, yet is quite tough. Must be the cut.
Oh-- there's the silkiness... Apple-y almost. Creamy. Almost cognac like. Nose is nutty like a good Brussels sprout.
Spinach is still amazing. And the pickled red onions are a hit, just 3 small slices, just enough.
The burned eggplant is soooo rich, and the burned flavour is just at the end. Very nice. Adds a great subtexture to the beef.
One pickled pearl onion cut in half, another good counterpoint.
Wine is developing some great vanilla notes. Not the Rhones I'm used to drinking. Almost like old fashioned cream soda.
Wow that pickled red onion tastes like soy sauce... Very tangy and powerful. Good finish to reset my palate. The last hit of wine was quite vanilla with just enough cream. Almost converting me to CDR.
Two liqueurs to end, one Cedrat and one cerises sauvages, both by L Cazottes.
The first smells like St Hubert moist towellettes. Pear taste, almonds, vanilla.
The second has a sharp nose, almost unpleasant. Tastes like a store bought cherry pie.
Waiting for the dessert....
Dessert - first course is strawberries, peas, torn mint leaves.
The liqueur is still quite piny. Mint is a hit at first, but too much mintiness when combined with the lingering liqueur aftertaste. I'm getting a headache! Liqueur with the dessert had become peary, maybe black pepper? Strawberries are unfortunately quite muted, I would have preferred them more vibrant, crispy, punchy. Instead a bit mushy, green. Liqueur now has quite an anise hit.
Next dessert is cherry sabayon with tamarind meringue. Paired with cherry liqueur. Liqueur is now quite pleasant, nice black/sour cherry taste, like everything good about black/sour cherries with none of the sourness.
Sabayon is perfect-- still warm and fluffy, not soggy at all. Tamarind meringue reminds me of why I loved tamarind, before I od'd on Filipino tamarind candy a few years ago. Wow, that did i already mention that the sabayon is absolutely perfect? Whoops! Forgot to take a picture!!
Now for the coffee, here is where I predict the wheels fall off.. After being completely spoiled by La Cafeotheque earlier today I don't see how this can begin to live up.
Comes out nice and short, good head or crema, very hot. Good start. Turns out to be quite insipid, although with some promising citrus notes. Serves me right for expecting any different.
Second random guy asks me how the meal was, this time an American. I must look particularly pathetic eating all alone.
Anyways, it's 1 am and I need to be at CDG in 7 hrs to make a flight that I have yet to book.... So I'm off!!!
PS. Keep your wallet out-- you're gonna miss the last metro and you'll need to hail a cab.
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